Men creating their dating profile would be wise to learn from Mad Men and how important it is for an to have a Unique Selling Proposition (USP).
In the first episode of Mad Men, Don Draper is asked to come up with a new ad campaign for Lucky Strikes cigarettes after the U.S. government’s crack down on their current advertising campaign.
Draper rejects the idea proposed by researchers that smokers have a secret death wish. But he struggles to come up with a new slogan until he asks the executives to explain the tobacco process. When he learns that tobacco is toasted, he stops them in mid-sentence. That’s our ad: “It’s toasted.”
The executives are underwhelmed because all tobacco is toasted. But consumers don’t know that, and even if they did, being first in claiming an attribute is a huge advantage in advertising.
In real life, Lucky Strike began using the “It’s Toasted” ad slogan in 1917. It’s patterned after Claude Hopkins’ “It’s Pure” ad campaign that quickly lifted Schlitz from 5th in beer sales to a tie for first place, a position it held for decades.
It was Claude Hopkins’ clever idea to be the first to explain the brewing process, which like tobacco is fairly standard throughout the industry. Any brewer could have made the same ad claiming their beer is pure because the “bottles are washed in live steam to sanitize them.”
But by being first to tell the whole story of the brewing process – and establishing “It’s Pure” — Schlitz owned this USP among consumers. (Apparently, the ad was so unique at the time that even teetotalers tried the “pure” beer.)
In Reality in Advertising, Rosser Reeves, who popularized the USP term, lists the three requirements for a successful USP.
1.– Each advertisement must make a proposition to the consumer.
Each must say, “Buy this product, and you will get this specific benefit.”
The headline must contain the benefit or promise.
2.– The competition isn’t making the same offer even if they could.
Hence, it’s “unique” and differentiated.
3.– The proposition must be strong enough to pull over new customers.
So differentiation can’t be trivial.
Online dating sites have USPs designed to attract daters::
- eHarmony is known for marriage. (I heard a comedian say the reason so many people marry on eHarmony is they don’t want to feel they wasted all the time it took to fill out the questionnaire.)
- Hinge claims it’s the app meant to be deleted.
- Bumble says it empowers women by letting them take charge.
In case you’re still confused what slogans like “It’s Toasted” or “It’s Pure” have to do with your dating profile, just remember this…
If your profile persuasively makes the case you possess a trait that women are seeking, you can own that USP just like Lucky Strike or Harmony.
Read More Related: Online Dating: It’s A 10K, Not A Sprint
Do you have a clearly defined USP?
I met a good-looking older tech CEO at a Malibu fitness camp who without prompting told me he’d slept with over 100 women from online dating. He said most men of his age and background are looking for much younger women. But he found women his age attractive and had more in common with them.
A good USP for him would be to say he prefers dating women his own age. Something like this: “Progressive Tech CEO seeks cultured woman of similar age and values.”
A friend of mine, a military officer in his early 40s, was the first person to ask for my marketing help for his dating profile. He had been married once but had no children and regretted this.
I told him that he should advertise his interest in children because there are women around his age or younger who also want kids and are running out of time. The USP I suggested was: “Military Officer Interested in Marriage and Children.”
I also chose a family-oriented USP because it’s fits with who I am and there’s a large demand for it.
According to Emily Dolan of the GWI blog, “76% of online daters agree that family is the most important thing.”
This belief is strongest among 45-54 year old daters, a group that is often at a family/relationship-oriented stage in their lives. It makes sense then, that people interested in starting or nurturing families are a strong target for apps that prioritize serious relationships.
I used a few family photos – including my parents’ 50th Anniversary photo – to show I come from a happy home and am interested in finding a life partner.
To remove any doubt about my seriousness, on one Match profile version I added a passage from Robert Browning’s “Grow Old with Me” poem:
Grow old along with me!
The best is yet to be,
the last of life,
for which the first was made.
You may think this poem is corny — and I would have agreed when I was younger — but I’m not writing to you. A middle-aged or older woman tired of the dating carousel and looking for a LTR or marriage should find my offer attractive.
Keep in mind that even womanizers say they are open to a LTR or marriage. But women burned by men making false claims are good at distinguishing between the sincere man and the rakes.
For example, a 59-year-old man with the vulgar name “RODHARDER” – who was looking for women as young as 20 — still felt the need to give lip service to seeking a soul mate:
“Looking for more than fun…needing a soul mate.”
Before you decide how to position yourself, it’s probably a good idea to write down your most appealing traits. (You might seek help on this from friends.)
The family-oriented USP I chose is too staid for a 20 year-old guy, and wouldn’t work without photos to back up my story. But even a guy in his mid-30s might consider a variation of my approach.
In your profile, select attributes that reflect who you are and appeal to the aspirations of the women you’re targeting.
Why was my military friend’s marriage/family offer so appealing?
A 2021 study by Johns Hopkins University finds women across the board, but especially educated women, have chosen single motherhood after giving up hope of marriage. The Wall Street Journal shares the story of one woman, a 30 year-old teacher with a master’s degree, who decided to use a sperm donor to have a child while single. “When I realized I was attracting the wrong men, and I really just wanted a child, I said, ‘Why not separate these things?’” she said.
Given the growing educational mismatch, and the unwillingness of many men to commit to marriage — or even a LTR — educated men seeking a traditional marriage/family relationship are in high demand.
However, it’s a mistake to believe you must have a college degree or be interested in marriage to succeed on dating apps. All you need to do is tell your story, showcase your strengths, and target a particular niche.
If you’re a soldier or firefighter, position yourself as a protector — a modern day knight if you will.
Do you have a stable blue-collar job, an ability to fix things, and like to go to church? Then advertise yourself as a reliable churchgoing handyman. There’s a market for what you have to offer.
Or are you a classic bad boy who plays in a band and rides a motorcycle?
If so, create a profile that shows how fun you are. (I have a friend like this who is quite popular with recent divorcees for short flings. He jokes he feels cheap when these women slink out early in the morning without even saying goodbye.)
I knew my second Bumble date wasn’t going well when she told me I was “too rigid” and “women like bad boys.” No, some women like bad boys. Her views don’t reflect the whole market.
There’s a reason Volvo advertises its cars as safe and reliable, while Ford pickups exude masculine toughness, and Jaguars are sleek and sexy.
The traits you emphasize in your profile should honestly reflect your strengths as these car ads do. Otherwise, she’ll see it as “bait and switch” when you meet.
Also, given the low level of trust on dating apps, you need to back up your positive claims as much as possible. As for your weaknesses, the conventional wisdom is to ignore them. But sharing a weakness that’s trivial to the women you’re targeting can make your positive claims seem more credible.
Jana Hocking calls boring profiles a “beige flag.” “[He’s] holding a dead fish from a recent fishing trip, and if you’re lucky, a selfie at the gym. He also hasn’t bothered to write a bio, so there’s no prompts to go off…[no red flag] ” “Beige stands for boring, blah, neutral, and a general sense of meh.”
Rosser Reeves said bad ads have no real message or memorable theme. “They disappear into a fog of sameness, triteness, and triviality.”
It’s better for your profile to be bold and controversial — even if it offends some women – than to create a boring, beige profile.
“The worst fault a salesman can
commit is to be a bore.”—David Ogilvy
Tip: Find Your Unique Selling Proposition
Advertisers spend a lot of time and money developing a USP before positioning a product. They know it can make or break an ad campaign.
A man’s profile that lacks a clearly defined USP is weak because there’s nothing that compels a woman to say, YES, this is the man I’m searching for. You must decide what your USP is and own it in the minds of the women searching for it.
For a complimentary 15-minute consultation on enhancing your dating profile, feel free to schedule a session at www.datingprofilesecrets.com or reach out via text at (240) 477-3999.
