The late Doc Love interviewed 10,000 straight women and their #1 complaint about men is that they ask for sex too early in the relationship.
When it comes to sex and dating, men would be wise to listen to the advice of singer Stephanie Mills:
…You’re puttin’ a rush on me
But I’d like to know you better (Maybe next time)…
Please just be patient if nothing else, oh, babe
Just know that I respect myself, yes, I do
But I hope I didn’t lead you to thinking
Thinking that I was that easy…
…I’m just an old fashioned girl
When it comes down to love
Before I give you some love
I’ve got to be sure your intentions are pure
But I’d like to know you better (Don’t rush it, baby)
One of the easiest ways for a man to impress women is to avoid dirty talk, pushing for sex, and asking for or sending private photos early in the relationship.
Yes, it’s true there are plenty of couples who have sex on the first or second date and live happily ever after…
But these couples are outliers, according to a 2017 Groupon survey of 2000 heterosexuals, which also found the so-called “three-date rule” is “becoming a thing of the past.” (This assumes it was ever the norm rather than something popularized on “Sex in the City” in the late 90s.)
According to the Groupon Survey, women on average prefer to wait until 8-9 dates before having sex, and men are nine times more likely to be OK with sex on a first date than women.
It’s possible there’s an element of virtue signaling by women in this survey, and the true number before sex is closer to 6-7 dates. If so, this is still more than twice what the three-date rule suggests.
Again, the easiest way for a man to get a leg up on his competition is to avoid pushing for sex early in the relationship.
With this said, you should listen closely to what women say and do to determine if she’s genuinely interested. It’s a positive sign if a woman says something even mildly suggestive like: “Can I share something intimate with you?
You can be sure that she would never bring up something remotely sexual if she didn’t have potential romantic interest in you. And it’s an even a better sign if she greets you on your second date with a kiss on the lips.
Don’t be a sucker and waste your time with the wrong women though.
Because there’s a small segment of stingy women who will take advantage of your kindness and generosity. These women demand men wine and dine them, then turn their cheek when a man goes to kiss them even on the third date.
Some women who are not affectionate may have recently separated or broke up with their boyfriend and are not ready to begin a physical relationship – one that’s even just kissing. With these women, the problem is one of timing or perhaps low attraction.
But there’s a group of gold diggers [my words] that dating coach Jana Hocking writes about somewhat positively. She claims that many women are now refusing to sleep with a man until he spends $2,000 on them
Perhaps these women have been burned like she admits happened to her recently: “I went on three dates with a guy, before getting naked, and you know what happened…I never heard from him again. Well aside from the occasional emoji under one of my Insta stories.
DailyMail.com, Jana Hocking: The new way guys are asking for casual sex…and it left me SHOCKED, Oct. 14, 2023
While I empathize with the frustration anyone feels about being used or ghosted – including the highly attractive Ms. Hocking — this new $2,000 rule makes romantic relationships a commercial transaction like prostitution.
The fact that a few women are unashamedly greedy is one good reason why a man shouldn’t spend a lot of money early in a relationship.
But the main reason you should avoid overspending on the first couple dates is that it’s a turn off to the women who want to meet you without feeling obligated to give you anything in return.
Plus, overspending may indicate a lack of confidence, says Michael Johnson, director of AA Financial Services: [taking her to a swanky restaurant] …” It can feel awkward and stressful, because you’re forced to sit through an entire meal, staring at her and trying to make conversation for hours. It can feel like you’re trying too hard to boost wobbling confidence.”
So, remember to reserve lavish gifts and the fancy restaurants for your wife or girlfriend!
Even more important, remember the advice of Stephanie Mills: “Before I give you some love I’ve got to be sure your intentions are pure. But I’d like to know you better (Don’t rush it, baby) …
[1] www.doclove.com dating coach, #20 sex
[1] (You’re Puttin’) A Rush on Me – 1987 Song by Stephanie Mills
[1] Business Wire, “Three-date Rule? Groupon Dating Trend Survey Finds Most People Wait an Average of Eight Dates Before Hopping into Bed,” Sept. 14, 2017
[1] News.com.au, Jana Hocking, “I won’t sleep with a man until he spends $2,00 on me – Here’s why”, Nov. 2, 2023
[1] DailyMail.com, Jana Hocking: The new way guys are asking for casual sex…and it left me SHOCKED, Oct. 14, 2023 [1] Huffington Post.co.UK, “Why Overspending On A First Date Can Be A Turn-Off”, Ruth D’Alessandro, July 7, 2016
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