I recently spoke to James from the UK, who told me he had one of the most successful profiles on MySingleFriend.com, a dating site where friends create the dating profile.
James’s friend, an advertising executive, settled on the headline, “Lovable Rogue” to describe him. The phrase was such a hit – top 2% in performance – that the media and dating site interviewed him.
Why is “Lovable Rogue” such a powerful headline? Certainly, a rogue by itself is a negative word. But when combined with “lovable,” it comes across as a fun-loving and confident – a maverick or character perhaps.
Do you come across as a “lovable rogue” or a “nice guy” on dating profiles?
A common reason nice guys fail online is they suppress their individuality and masculinity. They come across as boring, predictable, and vanilla like the TV character Richie Cunningham — the wholesome young man played by Ron Howard on Happy Days.
These men don’t seem to understand that a dating profile needs flavor as much as a recipe does. They need a dash of the Fonz from Happy Days – the popular bad boy on a motorcycle who got all the girls.
But I thought you wrote in your book that not all women like bad boys. Isn’t this conflicting advice?
It’s true that many women, especially those looking for a long-term relationship, grow tired of bad boy misbehavior.
But there are elements of the bad boy, such as confidence and charisma, that are always attractive and should be incorporated into your dating profile.
But what if I’m dating a feminist or religious woman? Surely, they’re not looking for the bad boy.
Again, straight women are generally most attracted to confident, masculine men who treat them well. That’s why the lovable rogue headline works. He’s first and foremost loveable. This attraction for excitement and masculine leadership extends to feminists and women of various faiths.
One story to illustrate my point. In college, I dated a woman who transferred from Baylor, a Baptist university, because she said the men were all weak “Momma’s Boys”. This woman attended church and Bible study religiously, but she found the men too bland. She needed more excitement and was willing to transfer to get it.
What if I don’t like motorcycles and cigars?
I’m not suggesting you buy a motorcycle or start smoking cigars if this isn’t your thing. But there are many ways to project masculinity from how you dress (louder colors are usually more masculine as it shows confidence) to your bearing. You can start by including photos of you doing masculine things like rock climbing or racecar driving.
